其實我一直都是很幸運的,因為我們人在美國,跟公公婆婆的相處很有限,一年回去碰面也就那幾次,彼此之間不是太熟稔,比較多是客氣,以禮相待。也因為相處的少,我之前總是天真的認為,以後跟公婆住也不會說太糟,互相有個照應也是很好,甚至想說,等到小孩出生,如果婆婆想要來帶來看來幫我作月子,絕對是舉雙手雙腳贊成。阿邁好幾次都跟我說這個主意不好,但我總是一笑置之,說你也太不相信爸媽。
直到....這次他們來美國小住一陣,我才覺得自己是太天真了。
我婆婆是個講話很直的人,比較主觀,她的出發點都是好的,但是較具有侵略性和強迫性。比如說像她來的時候,家裡的動線,廚房用具擺設,洗衣方式等等之類就是完全照她的,如果你稍微改變一下,她就會一直把她覺得對的道理灌輸到每個人身上,其實這些我都沒差,畢竟她有她做事的方式。只是,直到某天發生了一件很小很小的事情卻造成她的大發脾氣,我不過就煮了頓飯給大家吃,但她就覺得不開心了,覺得我打亂了她的節奏,她的做菜方法。阿邁雖然站在我這邊幫我說話,但聽到她訓我的言語,我才覺得原來她對我的隔閡這麼深。我們彼此再怎麼客氣,但在她心裡,兒子就是寶,我永遠都是個外人,是個搶走兒子的人。
那個時後,我才真的醒了。阿邁說的對,跟爸媽住在一起的這個idea真的很糟。因為婆婆就是婆婆。能客客氣氣,以禮相待就要滿足了。
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big big hug!!! one of my best friend was in the exact same shoe (and she is the easiest going person that i know of) her mil stayed with them for more than a year and toward the end she was literally on the verge of extreme unhappiness..luckily her husband also stood by her and her mil ended up returning to taiwan... I hope everything works/worked out for you. If budget allows, perhaps you can just order 月子餐 or I've even heard of people hiring 月嫂 (?) and fly them out from taiwan..
oh man..i feel so sorry for your friend...one year? I can't even take for two weeks. I'm starting to look into the confinement nanny around the area...dont' think I can afford to fly them out from Taiwan...kind of expensive tho. :)